Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said, “The five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance — are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live without the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.”

Grief is defined as deep sorrow. It is a natural reaction to loss. We all experience grief throughout the course of our lives. Examples include the death of a loved one, the death of a pet, the loss of a job, the loss of a relationship or a relationship that doesn’t reach its full potential; the loss of physical abilities due to age or loss of independence due to disability. The loss of a piece of our life plan, not being able to reach our full potential or being forced to change long-held expectations can cause grief, as well. Bereavement is the period of grief or mourning after the loss. The amount of time it takes for healing varies by individual.

While the symptoms of grieving are too many to list here, some common things one might experience include feelings of numbness, sadness, lack of interest in things you previously enjoyed, avoidance of things that remind you of your loss, inability to concentrate, fatigue or trouble sleeping. Most people experience physical, cognitive, social and emotional reactions when grieving.

In our culture, there is a common, false belief that when you are living with loss and grief, every day is better than the last and that once you’ve come through the worst of it, it is gone. Rather, while grief is a universal experience, it is also a deeply personal one and each of us will have our own process. In my experience as a therapist, most people experience grief as more like a game of pinball where much of it is tracking what’s happening and responding as best you can in the moment, with a limited amount of control.

The idea of closure in our culture is one of tidy endings but the reality is that we must live with all kinds of loss. A healthier goal might be to think in terms of personal growth and healing. It is often helpful to have someone, like a counselor, outside of our daily sphere to support us through our healing process.

As a licensed clinical social worker and therapist for over 25 years, one of Kristine’s areas of expertise is in this area of grief and loss. If you or someone you care about could benefit from some support through your bereavement and grief, reach out to Kristine by calling 321-280-9120. She offers a free 15-minute consultation before you begin work together.

RETURN TO PREVIOUS PAGE