Counseling for Thoughts of Suicide or Fixation with Death
Suicide is a challenging topic. But the reality is that at some point in our lives, many of us may have to be able to provide help for a friend, family member, or coworker or get it for ourselves. Thus, it follows that we need to understand as much as possible about suicidal ideation.
Here are some tips as to how you can relay your concern and be responsive to someone you care about having thoughts of death.
Know it’s okay to talk about it. Many of us shy from asking about signs or symptoms we see because we are concerned that we may be giving the person the idea by talking about it, and we don’t want that responsibility. Research shows that asking about suicidal thoughts does not “put the thought in their head” and that inquiring about suicidal thoughts does not prompt them. Either the person is thinking about suicide, or they are not. If they aren’t, they will tell you. If they are, by asking, you’re giving them the opportunity to share their concerns with you. Remember, if you don’t ask, you may not know.
Think about how you could ask someone directly if they are thinking about suicide before you ever need to. Practice asking out loud to get yourself used to the most sensitive and direct way to ask. You might say, “Have you ever felt/Do you feel so bad that you’ve thought about suicide?”
Thoughts about suicide do not mean there is a plan, the actual intent, or the means to follow through. Many times, people feel stuck or helpless and can’t come up with a solution to a problem they experience as overwhelming. Thoughts of suicide may indicate a need for stress reduction, improvement in coping strategies, and/or a need for additional support. Asking directly helps you understand what their current thoughts and feelings are and enables you to know how to respond.
If there is a plan, make sure they are safe. Ask them whether or not they have the means to follow through on a plan that they’ve discussed. Removing medications, drugs, weapons, and even access to their vehicle can help ensure safety.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep. While it may be challenging to reach out for help, safety is essential. Be clear that your goal is for them to be safe. Do not promise to keep any information secret. Share your intent to help with a plan to get them the mental health support they need.
Knowing what to look for. According to the CDC, there are 12 warning signs to look for:
Feeling like a burden
Being isolated
Increased anxiety
Feeling trapped or in unbearable pain
Increased substance use
Looking for a way to access lethal means
Increased anger or rage
Extreme mood swings
Expressing hopelessness
Sleeping too little or too much
Talking or posting about wanting to die
Making plans for suicide
Encourage help from a professional. Unless you are a mental health professional, it is best to encourage or even facilitate getting help. Immediately call 911 if it is an emergency. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be called or texted 24/7 at 9-8-8 or chat online at https://988lifeline.org/chat/ for advice from a medical professional. For those hard of hearing, talk with a Lifeline counselor via suicidepreventionlifeline.org. This is a confidential resource.
When you call 988, a Lifeline counselor will pick up and help you find nearby resources. If you text 988, the counselor will have you complete a survey to learn more about your situation and connect you with resources in your area.
The Lifeline’s network has over 200 crisis centers nationwide. Many studies show that callers feel less suicidal, less overwhelmed, and less depressed after speaking with a counselor.
If you would like to find out more about how you can recognize a crisis and the warning signs that someone might be contemplating suicide, an excellent resource is The QPR Institute (Question, Persuade, Refer) at QPRInstitute.com. Many health departments and school districts offer free training opportunities.
Kristine has many years of experience working with sad, depressed, and anxious individuals. Feel free to reach out to her if you believe counseling is needed for you or someone you care about. Kristine offers two appointment options: a) face-to-face in her downtown DeLand, Florida office or b) via an online, HIPAA-compliant video chat.
As a licensed therapist with private practice in DeLand, Florida, and St. Joseph, Michigan the option of online counseling is available to anyone who lives in the states of Michigan and Florida.
Online therapy is not the best option for everyone. Some issues are best addressed face-to-face. Reach out to discover whether face-to-face or online is the best fit for you and your journey.
Click here to make an appointment.
If you are in crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, a free, 24-hour hotline at 1.800.273.8255. If your issue is an emergency, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. Kristine Proctor, MSW, LCSW, LLC does not offer crisis counseling or emergency services.
